Friday, July 17, 2015

Divorce and Blended Families

Divorce is very common these days. Some people get married with the mindset of "I will get a divorce later". It would be nice if people wouldn't ever think that they will get a divorce one day.
There are six stages of divorce. The first stage is emotional divorce where a couple starts pulling away from each other. They aren't involved with one another's concerns and emotions. Second is the legal divorce. Third is economic divorce. This can be tricky to decide who gets what and who pays for what. Fourth is community divorce. This consists of having to move away sometimes and leaving behind friends, teachers, and family. Coparental is the fifth stage of divorce. This is deciding and working out how to share the children. Who gets who? How often does each spouse get to see each child? The six stage is Psychic divorce. This is finally coming to terms that the divorce really happened. It can take a long time to accept that and for it to really sink in.
We cannot judge why people get divorced. There is so much we don't know about every situation. When we can though we need to work on our marriage!!!! An awesome tip from my teacher was "let the bad marriage die and create a new one together." We shouldn't automatically think that simply marrying a new person will solve all our problems. The fact is, it usually creates a lot of new problems. Take time to breathe and try again.
Because of divorce and many other circumstances, blended families are more of the norm now. Almost everybody will have a blended family in part of their lives whether it is your own, a neighbor, friend, or a church member. Here are four things that can really help a blended family if they apply them and keep them in mind.
4 Guidelines For Blended Families
1. It will take a minimal of two years to reach normalcy. (or to get into a routine with each other)
2. The birth parent should do all the heavy discipline. (This will help the children not resent the step parent and it will help the spouses not
3. The step-parent should be the equivalent to a really awesome aunt or uncle.  (This means showing the children that you really care about them, emphasize with them, take time to understand them while you are supporting your spouse and letting your children know how much you love them and your spouse.)
4. Spouses need to have daily conferences with each other. (This is vital!!! There are so many things you both are adjusting to so it's vital that you are on the same page. You need to work as closely together on everything as you are creating a new family together. The family won't work if anything gets in between the two of you.)

Families, no matter what they look like, take a lot of work to make them strong and happy, but it's so worth it!!! Always remember that God will help you!!!!!! Turn to Him for help.

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