Date!

Since marriage is so important we really need to be wise in how we prepare for it. Many people these days are just hooking up, making out, living together, etc. They aren't being intentional in what they are doing and many don't really have a plan for why they are doing what they are doing.

We need to start by going on dates with a lot of people. These dates are great ways to get to know others in a variety of different ways. When you have met someone you really like and they really like you, then you can start courting them. The idea behind courting is to see if you two really do want to get married. Here you only date each other. You take time together to have a lot of mutual self disclosure and be involved in sharing a wide range of activities (says J. Van Epp) to really get to know one another. If marriage to each other isn't the best thing, then you break up. If it is right then get engaged and then get married!!! In the marriage you will continually become closer and deeper in love as you grow together and serve one another.

We reach together for the best we can be

"I help you and you help me. We reach together for the best we can be. I help you and you help me. And that's the way it's supposed to be." This is another LDS Primary song. I know what it says is true. There are males and females on this earth for an important reason. We can do a lot of the same things, but we aren't exactly the same and we shouldn't be. Everyone deserves respect and should be able to work for their goals. As men and women work together we help each other become more complete. Our strengths compliment each other and it's when we are working together that we excel.

I know that what gender we are is not a mistake. We were boys and girls long before we came to earth. We shouldn't try to be what we are not. Many people are attracted to the same gender. We need to still accept and loves those that are. We shouldn't label them as Gay or Lesbian. There is so much about each person. They shouldn't be defined by one thing about them. People with this attraction should be treated with patience. Some of them really struggle with this desire and want to change. We should help them change when that's what they want. There are four things that we can do to help in this situation:

1. Help them understand what's going on and what they are feeling
2. Teach skills to they stop abusing themselves and others
3. Help them develop skills to manage emotions
4. Develop healthy relationships with their own gender. 

Why do these steps help? Well there is a process that many people go through that have the same gender attraction. The typical one is that they temperament determines who they play with and what they play with. If what they are playing is normal than they are accepted. If not, like a boy playing with Barbies and dress ups, they he is often teased and made to feel bad for what he is doing. The boy feels different because he is treated that way. He might blame his gender for that. As years go by there is some kind of non-specific autonomic arousal. Many boys who go through this cycle have a sexual experience at age 12. Later pornography is looked at. These boys are sexually aroused which causes them to think "Hmm I felt something with a man, so it must mean I am Gay". Then they romanticize about it. They are so hungry for acceptance especially from their own gender since they never felt like they fit in. So, they might try to get that acceptance where ever they can.  

We need to help people in this situation feel loved.. We need to help them talk about what they are feeling and experiencing and so they know that they aren't alone, so we know how to better help them.

One last thing is, we shouldn't stereo type. Just because a man is sensitive, artistic, nurturing, driven, and compassionate, doesn't mean he is attracted to men! Those qualities can make a great husband. The Savior has those qualities and he is perfect. Lets help each other out and not be so quick to un-righteously judge. We need to have our arms stretched out and help others feel loved and included like the Savior did. 

How is your nest built?

A boy and girl bird fall in love. They begin making a nest together for their future family. They make sure that the nest is in a safe location, that it is big enough, and that it will be very strong. They work very hard together to create the best nest possible for their children.

It would be wonderful if all families could start out this way. We should always be preparing for our family. It would be extremely hard for the birds to raise children, if they didn't first have a nest to put their eggs in. Husbands and wives need to work together. So much more will get done and the outcome will be far better than what could have been done by only one person.

Husbands and wives need to put each other first. When their friendship and love for each other is strong, then it really benefits the whole family.

An awesome quote that was shared in class was "you can never get enough of what you don't need because what you don't need will never/cannot satisfy you". So true!! We waist a lot of time trying to buy the best things or look a certain way. Those things will never bring us lasting happiness. What will is our relationships with our family members. We need to focus on helping each other, getting to know one another better, and simply loving every member of our family. When we do this a lot of our stress will go away and Heavenly Father will be able to help us with the rest.

One more thing is culture. There are many ways to live life. The different ways can bring beauty. It's awesome how many kind of nests, birds, and songs are in the world. We need to be careful that the culture we are living a righteous one. Just because other nests are made of barbed wire, are where cats can easily get to them, or are sloppily made, that does NOT mean they are ok. Somethings are wrong even when many people don't think so or the law might even say otherwise. We need to keep checking ourselves to make sure what we are doing is in line with God's commandments. When they are we know we will be ok. Obeying the commandments brings blessings like protection and guidance. I for surely want those blessings for my family.

Let Them Come

This week in my Family Relations class we got to watch a documentary called 'The New Economic Reality: Demographic Winter'(via BYUtv.org). It was interesting to learn about the world's population. The documentary talked about how the world's population used to double about every 20 years. Many people have been worried about over populating the earth. Years ago people thought that the world could not hold over 3 billion people. The earth currently supports around 7 billion.
One reason for population growth is the fact that people are living longer. A scary fact is that the fertility rate is decreasing. Women need to have on average 2.13 children to be able to replace those who pass away. In the United States the replacement rate is close to 2.09 and in Europe it's 1.38. Ahh! Yes, more people means more resources used, but remember that with each child of God comes talents, knowledge, and abilities. Each child can bring knew ways for us to use the earth for the better.
We do need to take care of the earth and hope to be able to give our children the best life. We shouldn't let worldy worries and fears stop us from having children though. God created the world for us. Specifically families. He has many spirit children that need a turn on earth. How many children we have needs to be between the husband and wife and God, not news reporters or scientists. God will bless us and provide a way for us to follow His commandment of 'multiplying and replenishing the earth.' I know as ,The Family: A Proclamation To The World states, that this commandment 'remains in force'.
I know not every family needs to be large, but I sure love having siblings and having tons of aunts, uncles, and cousins to help me enjoy my time on earth. The relationship and bond that comes from being family members is very special. We should never purposely stop a child from coming into a home where they can be loved and given the gospel, We should have the attitude of 'let them come'. Others let us come to this long awaited earth experience, let us help our other siblings have the same opportunity. See? We need each other.